margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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