Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
