SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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