this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
