I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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