He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
third nipple confirmed
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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