I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
