Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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