my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
