Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
