Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Shame is for Republicans.
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