She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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