Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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