Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
