doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
it's great music for shaving your balls
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
