Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
