can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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