man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
