Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
