ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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