Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
