Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
