I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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