Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
