shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
