I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
