I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
