well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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