you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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