I look better un-naked...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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