But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
