She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
