While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
