Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
