so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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