No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
