Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
What a dumb baby whore.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
