Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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