that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
