WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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