I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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