he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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