there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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