I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
