I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
