What a fucking waste of an outfit
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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