how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
