Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
