Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
