So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
